“Do Intimacy Coordinators Do That?”: A Guide to Kink, Bondage, and More.

Photo by Anna Shvets

Whips and chains and ropes, oh my! Portraying the full spectrum of human sexuality on screen often means scenes that go beyond holding hands and touching lips. As a filmmaker, you may be curious about how Intimacy Coordinators help support scenes that include higher-risk or more intricate actions often associated with the BDSM and other kink communities.

In this post, we’ll break down some common kinks, the different elements that often go into creating these scenes, how the Intimacy Coordinator might support these actions, and where you may need to bring in additional practitioners, such as topic experts and stunt personnel, to ensure these scenes are done both safely and authentically.

As a note, these are my personal evaluations from my perspective as a practitioner. Some Intimacy Coordinators may have specific experience or training that expands their ability to handle additional duties beyond what is standard for an IC, and that’s great! This guide is designed to help manage expectations as you vet Intimacy Coordinators so you can work together to create the safest environment possible for your performers and crew.

What Do Intimacy Coordinators Do?

Intimacy Coordinators are performer advocates, movement choreographers, and consent experts who coordinate scenes involving nudity, simulated sex, and other scenes of hyper-exposure or sexual contact.

This involves intricate meetings with directors and performers to establish clear communication and boundaries around the specific scene work, establish closed-set protocols, as well as collaborate on choreography to execute a director’s vision for the scene while honoring the performer’s boundaries.

Are Intimacy Coordinators Also Kink Experts?

It depends! Intimacy Coordinators come from a variety of backgrounds, training, and specialties, and some intimacy coordinators have taken on extra training to help them support different types of kinky scene choreography.

If you’re planning on filming a scene involving kink, make sure to have a conversation with your intimacy coordinator to see what their specialties are and what kind of kink scenes they feel capable of faithfully choreographing.

Do I Also Need a Stunt Coordinator for Kink Scenes?

This is another “it depends” scenario. To help you understand where a kink scene may require more than just an intimacy coordinator, I’ve highlighted some common kink portrayals and the type of personnel who may be required to craft these scenes authentically while protecting the performer’s physical and mental health.

Spanking/Slapping/Impact Play

Spanking is a common kink that shows up often in onscreen portrayals of BDSM and other role-playing scenarios. Simulating light spanking is something that many intimacy coordinators may feel comfortable including in their choreography without additional support. However, a stunt coordinator may be requested for more intense variations, slaps to the face, intimate areas, or impact play that includes an instrument like a paddle, rod, or other implements.

Bondage

Bondage is one of the most common kinks, but it also comes with some of the most risks depending on the type of restraints used, how the person is restrained, and what additional actions are happening in the scene while the person is restrained.

As a broad rule, if you’re planning a scene with bondage, be ready to bring on a stunt coordinator in addition to your intimacy coordinator unless your intimacy coordinator can demonstrate additional training and experience safely working with actors in the type of restraints requested.

For advanced bondage techniques such as shibari/Kinbaku (Japanese rope bondage), safely and accurately portraying these scenes may require not only an intimacy coordinator and stunt coordinator but also the addition of a kink-specific consultant with expert-level knowledge in the specific kind of bondage and community surrounding it.

Some stunt coordinators or intimacy coordinators may have specific knowledge, training, and experience that would allow them to also act as subject matter experts for more advanced bondage techniques. However, thoroughly vet their qualifications before allowing them to assume both roles. This includes asking for references from those who have worked with them as subject matter experts in this specific area and proof of specific training in these areas. Advanced bondage techniques can result in severe and permanent injury to performers if not supervised by trained, experienced professionals.  

Breath Play

Breath play involves restricting a partner’s access to air either using hands or purpose-built kink accessories. In almost all cases, scenes simulating breath play should be supervised by both an intimacy coordinator and a stunt coordinator. Breath play is exceedingly dangerous, especially if accessories are used, and you’ll need both an intimacy coordinator and a stunt coordinator to manage the necessary boundaries and physical risks for your performers.

CBT

No, not the therapy one, the other one. This kink involves pain or intense sensation applied to the penis and testicles, and precisely what and how will determine the expert support you’ll need on this one. If a prosthetic is being used and there are no other physical risk elements in the scene, an Intimacy Coordinator may be able to sufficiently safety these types of scenes. However, if more dangerous implements are being used or other physical risks are present, a stunt coordinator may be a necessary addition.

Role Play

Role-playing is a broad genre of kink, and as such, the support needs will vary depending on exactly what kind of role-play is being depicted. These are scenes where you’ll need to consult with your intimacy coordinator on what specialty knowledge they have about these scenes and what kind of scenarios they can help you faithfully represent. An additional kink advisor may be requested for more specific, niche, or complex roleplay scenarios to ensure the depiction is as accurate as possible.

Conclusion

This is by no means an exhaustive list of all the different niche activities you may want to portray on screen, but it hopefully gives you an idea of the range of support that may be required to depict more extreme intimate behavior both safely and accurately.

As mentioned before, with more intense scene work, it is incredibly important to thoroughly vet your intimacy coordinator, stunt coordinator, and subject matter experts to ensure you’re providing performers with a team that’s fully capable of effectively and efficiently managing the risks associated with these more extreme acts. These are not scenes for beginners and must be managed by experienced professionals to ensure the physical and mental safety of all those involved.